personal stuff.
11:43 PM - Friday, October 5
*sigh* talked to my friend through MSN yesterday. I was not only talking actually... I was sharing abt my issues a.k.a "curhat" and as usual, I cried. I always cry whenever I know I have the ability to do something BUT I can not do it well. Life has been uneasy for me since I'm back here. To be exact, since I knew my marketing CA result. =( I was quiet disappointed with the result as I really dun expect a "C", I mean cum on... I did try my best for this and wat the hell, the result was D-I-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T-I-N-G! After knowing my CA result and compare it to my smarty friends... I'm really down and I say to myself that I gotta STRUGGLE for my exam. I keep thinking that WHY can't i be as diligent as they did, WHY can't I be so motivated to study hard and get flying colors result.... WHY???!!!!! and hell, I get the same stupid C grade for my exam result. Outside I looked OK with 2 Bs and 1 C this semester but inside really, I'm super angry with myself. Why I can not get a more satisfying result. I want to make my parents proud of me, I want to get As and Bs, not to be arrogant but I know my own ability and I know I should be getting more Bs rather than stupid C. I studied hard. but I think OTHERS studied HARDER than me. Everyday I kept telling myself that I can do better than my friends or at least be same level as them. I'm not stupid. I need to STRUGGLE MORE, study HARDER, and be a MORE DILIGENT girl. I don't wanna waste my time anymore to get C?! no more C for my next 2 sem.
and anywae, thank you so much my lovely friend for listening to me yesterday. Giving me advices and motivated me. I can not change my past. I have to do better for my future so, no regrets. I learn from my mistakes. I can be a better person and I will.
quoted from Jooney, "no matter what the result is,at least we have put the efforts.....we should never regret it"
=)
Labels: issues
